Polar Bear Swim

A lot's been happening, but nothing I really feel like writing about just yet. My other blog, Sarah's Sweet Tooth, is getting more of my attention lately because it's all about stuff I bake. And I do love to bake. In fact, I'm attempting to start a small "business" in which I will make cupcakes & other sweets for other people's events. I doubt this will turn out well, but at least I can say I tried. Therefore, my "real life" isn't very exciting, but I wanted to post this video.

This June, D and I spent a week at Lake Champlain with my sister, brother-in-law, and five nephews. It was, in a word, awesome. However, it was also very cold. So to sum up the experience, here is brave Ezra:







Enjoy! And I'll try to post more when my life gets somewhat interesting again...

Surgery Updates

Today marks five days since D's colectomy (i.e. complete removal of his colon, plus some). He had managed to stay healthy through the wedding, but sure enough, a week later he was sick again. After several trips to his doctor in NY, it was decided that he would have surgery to remove his colon (infected from Ulcerative Colitis) that has been bugging him for over four years now. For once, a doctor actually explained all of the options - complete with pros and cons. After spending more time on prednisone (a steriod) than off in the last two years, alternative medical therapies were suggested. One was 6MP, which would require bi-weekly blood tests to make sure his white blood counts didn't fall too low. At this point, there is no knowledge of what the long-term effects of being on this drug would be. The other was Remicaide (I might be spelling it incorrectly) - which is basically a several-hour-long infusion that he would have to come in and get bi-monthly. And the other option was surgery. After four years of being on various medications and dealing with side effects that are sometimes worse than his actual condition, D chose surgery.

The weeks leading up to the surgery were stressful, to say the least. We were told he'd have to have three surgeries. The first would be to remove his colon and install an ileostomy. In the second surgery, they would go in and build an internal "pouch". That would have to heal for a while, and then he'd have his third and final surgery, which would take out the ileostomy and begin diverting everything through the pouch and back the (modified) "regular" way. This whole process was going to take anywhere from 6-10 months. So we mentally and emotionally prepared ourselves for almost a year of him not being able to work, or be very physically active. We also were not entirely sure what the various recovery processes would be. There were a lot of unknowns coming into this. There was also, of course, my completely unfounded fear of him not making it through the surgery. There's only a 1% chance of death occurring during this kind of surgery, but of course I'm paranoid. I worked hard not to let him know my fears, or to let them get the best of me (definitely did a lot of praying!)

So Tuesday was the big day. His mother took the day off to sit with me in the waiting room. We arrived at the hospital at 5:30 a.m., following the instructions to go to valet parking, and then look for the guy in the tuxedo waiting for us in the lobby. His mother and I were both pretty sure that this was a joke, but sure enough, "Mike" was in a tuxedo waiting to meet us! He gave us a newspaper and some patient information, and then escorted us up to the third floor for pre-op.

The nurse had originally told us that the surgery would last 2 and a half hours. The waiting room had this neat electronic board that told you when people (identified by number) went into the various stages of pre-op (3), then to surgery, then to recovery, and finally to their room. We anxiously watched the board for three hours... then three and a half... then four... Finally, after five hours of being anxious, saying a lot of prayers, and discussing the entire Fedchak family history with my mother-in-law, the doctor came out to see us. The surgery was a success! Not only that, they were able to do two surgeries in one, not only taking out his colon but also making the pouch! Whoot! Apparently, the surgery was supposed to take five hours (the nurse was wrong), so nothing went wrong at all.

After spending some time in recovery, he was transferred to the "penthouse" - the 16th and topmost floor of the hospital, with large private rooms that have reclining chairs and fold-out couches so they are "family friendly". He even has a great view of Lake Erie. I didn't know hospitals could be so swanky, but it sure has made staying here overnight much easier! (Even if the couch-bed is as hard as a rock - I just keep telling myself it's preparation for all the camping we'll finally be able to do this summer). Most of the staff here is fantastic - very friendly and helpful. One of the nurse's aides keeps bringing me the extra meals, so I haven't had to worry too much about getting food (what meals I don't get in the room, D's parents bring to me when they come visit).

The recovery process has been difficult. The first two days were relatively easy - the anesthesia wasn't entirely out of his system, so he slept a lot. He has an almost continual flow of pain medication, so sometimes he's loopy and other times he's rather coherent. As he's gotten to start feeling "better," though, he's gotten to feeling worse. We took a tally and counted 7 different tubes coming out of him at one point. Now that he's more fully aware of what's going on, this is starting to wear on him. Also, the euphoria of surviving the surgery and already having the pouch in is also starting to wane. So far, post-surgery, he's had some blood transfusions, a chest x-ray, an inhaler prescribed, lots of random medications given (to prevent blood clotting, nausea, infection, pneumonia, fluid build-up, etc.) The latest news is the "wound VAC" - which is quite possibly the most interesting thing I've seen in a long time. Basically, his incision runs from just below his sternum to the top of his pelvic bone (barely skirting around his bellybutton, making it somewhat hurricane-shaped). He has 12 staples holding it together, but the top and bottom 2-3 inches were left open in case of infection, etc. The purpose of the wound VAC is to close the incision by encouraging the tissue to grow together again - without using stitches or staples. Using negative pressure (i.e. a vacuum), the machine pulls the wound closed using special sponges cut to fit in the open parts of the incision. It does this slowly, so there's a bit of pressure but doesn't cause too much pain. This method apparently helps keep out bacteria, encourages new tissue growth, and will make the scar much smaller. Now that I've seen the entire wound - open parts and all - I'm really interested to see what it looks like after it heals entirely.

Tomorrow is my last day here at the hospital - I must return to work on Monday. D will be in for another 5 days or more, most likely. He might get the tube out of his nose today, which is very exciting! They've clamped it down to make sure he doesn't get queezy, and after a few hours they'll take it out. I think this will help greatly improve his spirits. It will be hard to leave while he's still here, especially because I've been doing a lot of the stuff a nurse's aide would do - like helping with washing, etc. But I'm hoping that in a few days he'll be a little more self-sufficient and will be able to do more on his own. Today he walked about 25 feet with a walker, and he's slowly getting stronger every day. He's being incredibly brave and patient through this entire process, and fortunately is not letting an macho ego get in the way of him getting better! The plan from here on out is that he'll stay with his grandfather (who's home all the time) for a bit after the surgery, and should then be able to come home. It will take about 6 weeks weeks for him to "normal" again (whatever that means). After 8 weeks he'll come back in to get x-rays of the pouch, to make sure it's healing okay. If the x-rays turn out well, then we can schedule his second and FINAL surgery to reverse the ileostomy, hopefully sometime in early June. That means by the 4th of July, he should be all healed up and ready to live life again!

We've already started planning our "new" life together, and this will include all of our favorite foods like ice cream, pasta with red sauce, Mexican, and even a beer every once in a while. We're planning lots of camping trips and hiking adventures for the summer, since we won't constantly have to worry about where the bathroom is, or if he'll have the energy to do it (he won't be constantly anemic anymore!) We hope next summer to take some time to hike part of the AT. He's worried that I won't like him once I get to know what he's "really" like - with all sorts of energy for causing mischief and mayhem. I'm just excited that for once, I'll have to work to keep up with him instead of the other way around:-)

Wedding Mishaps

Three weeks ago, D and I got married. And it was all those things it's supposed to be - wonderful, magical, special, absolutely perfect. And it really did feel like all of those things, especially the last one. But the funny thing is, there were many minor (and a few major) mishaps along the way - especially within the last 24 hours of the wedding and at the wedding itself. And somehow, all those things going wrong actually made the experience more wonderful than I could have planned it. So, just for fun, I thought I'd share some of these mishaps and how they helped to enhance the entire wedding experience...

To set the scene, the wedding was on Sunday, January 10th at 1:00 p.m. in West Virginia. For the last bajillion years (give or take a year or two), West Virginia has experienced pretty mild winters. Of course, this winter was completely different. With between 80-90 guests coming from out-of-town (NJ, NY, PA, VA, NC, TN, GA, IL, and Scotland), it was a bit disturbing to have the entire week preceding the wedding filled with snow. And more snow. And even more snow... Which brings us to approximately 8:30 p.m. on Friday evening.

THE MISSING BRIDESMAID

The rehearsal was scheduled for 9:00 a.m. Saturday. The wedding party was due to arrive on Friday. About 12 hours before the rehearsal, Whitney, one of my bridesmaids, called from Chicago. Her plane was due in to Pittsburgh around 10:30 that night, but her mother wasn't able to make it there to pick her up that night because of the snow. So Whitney spent the night in Pittsburgh and missed the rehearsal.

HOW IT BECAME AWESOME

This was a bit unsettling at first, not only because she was the first to walk down the aisle, but also because I was just really excited to see her. However, it did all work out. We (all the girls) went to the clubhouse about an hour and a half before the ceremony to get ready, and we did a quick run-through. This, of course, resulted in us being silly about it, and some of my favorite pictures from the day are of us spinning and twirling around to the recessional song. So, if Whitney had been able to make it, then we would have missed out on the fun picture opportunity. And the much needed stress-relief of twirling.

WHO NEEDS PROCESSIONAL MUSIC?

9:00 AM Saturday rolls around. We go to run through the rehearsal, and find that the CD we had burned with our processional song (a piano version of "I Can't Help Falling In Love") wouldn't play on my old CD player. To add to the situation, we hadn't practiced with the timing of the song before, and wasn't even sure it would work since it's a bit "untraditional." So we rehearsed without music, using my sister's handy watch to time entrances and pacing.

HOW IT BECAME AWESOME

We ended up putting the music on the computer and just playing it from the laptop (much thanks to D's brother's girlfriend, who ran the music for us... as we had no one else to do it). The experience of walking down the aisle to that song for the very first time, seeing my soon-to-be-husband looking handsome in his tux, and seeing his bright smile as I walked towards him, will forever be one of my favorites.

LET THEM EAT CAKE

D's cousin Risa makes awesome cakes. So, of course, we asked her to make our wedding cake. And then... the snow hit. So approximately 24 hours before the wedding, we found out that Risa wouldn't be able to make the trip down from Buffalo because of the weather. Thus, we had no cake.

HOW IT BECAME AWESOME

Fortunately, we had cupcakes that were meant to feed the majority of the people. We really just wanted a small cake upon which to put our cake topper and to cut for the traditional cake-cutting. D's mom offered to run around that afternoon and try to find us a cake, but I told her I'd try to find something first. Cate, my bridesmaid from Scotland, and I love cake. Our friendship was founded upon our mutual love of sweets. And since she had been in Scotland, we didn't get to do any traditional bride/bridesmaid things together. So, we went cake-tasting. I found a small bakery listed in the phone book that specialized in last minute orders, and it was only about 10 minutes from my house. We popped over and told the woman the situation. She had a slice of cake sitting in the fridge, and she pulled it out for us to taste. She also handed us a bunch of cookies to taste, just for fun. While we flipped through picture books, she - her name was Marianne - told us all about how she got started with the bakery. Originally from New York City, she had no formal training but just loved to cook. We found some pictures we liked, and then started talking price. I told her I just wanted a one-tier 8-inch cake. She insisted that it wouldn't be a wedding cake if it was only one-tier, so she was going to add a 6-inch top for free! I showed her the picture that I wanted, and she said she'd have it ready by 6:00 that night! So, even though we didn't get the cake we had originally planned, we still got a great-tasting, absolutely adorable cake for less than $50. In addition, I got to spend some quality time cake-tasting with Cate:-)

The rest of Saturday was spent with a bridal shower, an evening at the martini bar with friends. D and some of his friends left a little early that night because we were supposed to have access to the reception venue that night; however, it was accidentally locked. And at midnight, it was too late to call the caterer to get the keys. So after a restless night, I woke up the next morning unsure if we'd even have access to the reception venue that morning - which was quite essential for set-up. Fortunately, the caterer opened it around 8:30 that morning, so at 9am I went over to decorate for the reception, with the help of my bridesmaids, my father, and D's family. (D was on task of decorating the ceremony venue with some of our friends). Everything was going fine, until we realized...

NO CENTERPIECES

We had originally planned to have our own centerpieces. I even bought 12 snowflake floating candles. But after discussion of purchasing 12 vases, we decided to go with the caterer's decor that was included in the cost (a single white candle in the middle of the table - we're simple). But Sunday morning, we discovered that somehow the message had been lost that we wanted the caterer's centerpieces. So I had the 12 candles, but nothing to put them in.

HOW IT BECAME AWESOME

My friend Alexis had offered to come over and help decorate that morning. Upon hearing of the dilemma, she ran off to the store to find vases to hold the centerpieces. I had to leave before she got back, but when I got the reception later that afternoon, each table had a beautiful vase complete with snowflake floating candles. They were absolutely gorgeous, and it was fun to be surprised!

So now let's flash forward a few hours. My mom did my hair, D arranged a surprise limo to pick me up at my house (along with my bridesmaids & nephews), and we arrived at the Clubhouse with an hour and a half to spare. (On a random note, I've always thought limos were a bit "over the top," but this surprise was perfect. Before it arrived, I was starting to get tense and nervous. Once we all piled in, the atmosphere was so perfect and fun that I was able to relax and really begin to enjoy the day! It was a great surprise:-) At the Clubhouse, we did a practice processional with Whitney, and then began to get ready. Everything is going smoothly. Everyone is dressed. Even the flowergirl and ringbearer are ready to go. It's 12:55. My dress is laced, my veil is in my place, my make-up is done, and now all I need is... my shoes.

SHOELESS JOE FROM HANIBAL, MO

My beautiful silver shoes that I was absolutely in love with were... nowhere to be found. They had been left back at my parents' house, a good 20 minutes away. My mom offered to go get them, with five minutes before the wedding was supposed to start. I initially said yes, until my ever-so-smart sister reminded me that I had always wanted to get married barefoot.

HOW IT BECAME AWESOME

As I walked down the aisle, D noticed the lack of shoes (he had already seen the pretty silver ones before, so he was expecting those). Afterwards, he told me that it made him really happy that I had married him while barefoot. Throughout the entire planning process, he kept saying he wanted to give me the wedding "of my dreams." I had always dreamed of an outdoor, barefoot wedding. Okay, in the winter we couldn't manage the outdoors, but a simple act of forgetfulness turned into a really special detail about the whole day. I got to surprise my groom, and fulfill the wish of getting married barefoot (and, of course, wear my awesome silver shoes at the reception!)

CAN I HAVE THE RINGS?

The processional has started. Whitney is walking down the aisle. The rest of us are lined up outside, barefoot and freezing. Cate goes down the aisle. Right before my sister, the matron-of-honor, begins to walk, we realize a huge error: we had left D's ring in the dressing room.

HOW IT BECAME AWESOME

Erin goes down the aisle. I send my dad running downstairs to find the ring (or, hobbling a bit - he broke his ankle last year and is still recovering). This leaves me, Joel (my five year nephew who is the ring bearer), and Violet (the five year old daughter of some friends). Joel goes down the aisle, and it's just me and Violet standing out there in the cold. I help her out of her coat and then tell her when to go. There was some trepidation on my part - we all had some fear she'd get nervous and wouldn't make it. So I peeked in the glass doors behind her and watched as she began her way down the aisle. There's a fantastic picture of Violet tossing her "snowflake" petals onto the floor while I peek through the glass to watch. And then it was just me. And this moment alone, in the cold, barefoot, and about to walk down the aisle to see my groom, was priceless. It was a great moment to "center" and get ready for what I was about to do. And then, my dad came up the stairs with the ring in hand, to the rescue! I put D's ring on my thumb and took my dad's arm, and we walked down the aisle together. Upon reaching the front and turning to hand the bouquet to my sister, I took a few extra seconds to pry D's ring off my thumb and "discreetly" pass it along to Erin. Hopefully, none of this was too obvious!

And off to the reception...


RIBBONS

One of my favorite parts of my dress were the long white satin ribbons that laced up the back and hung down to the floor. These were a last-minute touch, and I loved them. But not enough to make sure that I didn't get them stuck in the car door on the way over to the reception. So we arrive at the reception, and I go to step out of the car, when we realize that about a foot of the ribbons had been stuck in the door and were now covered in mud.

HOW IT BECAME AWESOME

My friend Mike, who is an old "pirate" friend from camp (and also our wedding photographer) was in the car next to us when we parked. He pulled out a pocket knife and cut off the muddy ends of the ribbon - and brought just enough pirativity to the wedding in that one simple act. No one was any wiser, even if the ribbons were just a little bit shorter:-)

NO DJ? (No, not THAT DJ)

D's friend Marc was supposed to do out music, but due to all the snow, he couldn't make it down from Rochester, NY. So when we got to the reception, we didn't know how we were going to be "announced." We had set up the music so you could just hit "play" on the computer playlist, but we really wanted to announce the bridal party...

HOW IT BECAME AWESOME

D's friend Josh, a good college friend, stepped into the role of MC and did a fantastic job. In addition to correctly pronouncing everyone's names, he also went above and beyond and recognized our parents (and gave special props to my mom for making the dress). He really did a phenomenal job, especially last-minute, and I'm incredibly thankful to him!

Okay, then we had an issue with the speakers not working correctly... and I don't really have a good way that worked out, but hey, in the grand scheme of things, it didn't really matter at the end of the day:-) We were married, most of our friends & family were able to attend, and it was a great day. We danced, we ate, we ate cake, and we took a lot of pictures. We had some toasts - 2 out of the 4 of which were awesome. My one regret is that we didn't get a chance to go around and talk to everyone who was there; it was a very short reception (our pictures took a little longer than we planned for), and a lot of people had to leave early anyway. But I'm hoping that all the people we didn't get to talk to and thank for coming will hopefully understand! It was a fantastic day, even with all these mishaps, and I am so thrilled that everyone was able to make it, that we had all of these little mishaps go wrong to make the day truly perfect, and most importantly - that we're married:-)

There is, of course, one more last litle mishap...

THE BOUQUET TOSS

You see, there was a chandalier. And it was hanging low. And we had joked about me hitting it with the bouquet. And I was positive I wouldn't. And then... I did. And some of the "crystals" hanging down off the chandalier fell to the ground in a very dramatic fashion.

HOW IT BECAME AWESOME

The good news - the crystals were plastic. The caterer said it happened all the time. So I didn't have to pay any fees or anything like that (which I was a bit nervous about). And I was a bit embarrassed about it for a few minutes. But then it just became funny. And it became even more hilarious after getting some pictures back of that exact moment when the bouquet actually hit the chandalier - of the ten or so women lined up to catch the bouquet, nine of them have their hands up to their face with shocked expressions as they watch the crystals fall to the ground... and then there's one, D's cousin Justine, who is almost maniacally diving after the bouquet to catch it, even though no one else is even focused on the flowers at this point. It's pretty fantastic, and I'm pretty sure it will forever be one of my favorite photos from the day.

Before the wedding, D and I had joked about all the things that would go wrong. While we were incorrect in our actual guesses, we were right about one thing - the wedding wouldn't have been the same if it had been seamless and without mishaps. After all, our romance is the story of a series of mishaps that fell into place to make a wonderful, (almost) perfect love.