Advent Conspiracy

Last week, right before Christmas, I saw an article about the "Advent Conspiracy" - an idea that has been around for a while but is only recently gaining popularity. It's the idea that instead of celebrating consumerism for Christmas, we give gifts of service that will truly help those who are suffering and in need. What a novel idea!

What caught my eye about this particular article, honestly, was it's discussion of the whole "war on Christmas" idea. You know, the one where Christians are upset because "Happy Holidays" has gained more popularity than the phrase "Merry Christmas." Perhaps I am not as argumentative as I should be about this, but it has never bothered me when someone says "happy holidays." Perhaps because I have friends who are Jewish, or who do not celebrate Christmas for other various reasons, I do not feel the need to have my grocery store check-out person wish me a Merry Christmas. If they say Happy Holidays, I do not feel that they have offended my faith or denied Christ. Anyone who knows me well knows what I believe, knows that I celebrate Christmas and believe in the birth of Christ - so changing two words and insisting that everyone else on the planet wish me a Merry Christmas seems a bit frivolous to me. It's not about words; it's about actions. You can say "Merry Christmas" all you want, but if you're celebrating it without sharing the greatest gift of the season - the birth of Christ, the love of God - then it's just semantics.

Anyway, that's why the Advent Conspiracy caught my eye. The idea of trying to share God's love through Christmas gifts isn't a new one, but I like that's it's gaining popularity. For example, instead of spending hundreds of dollars on gifts for people, donate to a worthy cause in their name. Or take your family to a homeless shelter and volunteer for the day. Give time, money, or support to God's children who are suffering. Isn't that what we're called to do, anyway?

Don't get me wrong; I enjoy opening presents as much as the next person. And I think it's flattering that someone puts thought and effort into a special gift just for me. I, too, am materialistic and consumeristic, as much as I would like not to be. But I want to make a serious effort to change this; to start giving gifts of service and love (no batteries needed!) I would also like receive these gifts. While it is fun to wake up to a Christmas tree skirt covered in shiny wrapped presents picked out just for me, these gifts of service can also be personalized (and environmentally friendly - no wasted wrapping paper!) For example, World Vision sends out a "gift catalog" every year, and you can select a certain thing to give in honor of someone else. One of the options is to give money to help support a young girl who has escaped sex slavery. Or to help orphans go to school. Or to provide clean water for villages. What amazing gifts! And it's so easy to pick out a cause that is important to someone and give to that in honor of them.

And okay, there are still physical things that I would like to get. But the point is, if we shift our focus of giving during the Christmas season (or any time of year), we can greatly impact the lives of others while honoring those we love. I don't think it's bad or wrong to give material gifts to someone; I do think that it would be so easy to start picking small ways to share the love of God with others. Now... if only I can remember this for next year! ;-)

Wedding Countdown!

Yes, yes, I'm a huge dork :-)

Please, Judge the Book by the Cover

Last weekend, I returned to Roanoke, VA for a "bachelorette" weekend hosted by my college girlfriends. While it seems pretty rowdy, it really wasn't. But it was a beautiful weekend in the Blue Ridge Mountains, back on the campus of Hollins. We spent most of Saturday in downtown Roanoke, which has an awesome farmer's market and some great little shops. One of my favorite shops has always been Cantos, an independent bookstore. Being a bookstore fanatic, I always found it really refreshing to be able to just wander around and browse a tiny, locally-owned store.

Last weekend, that all changed (insert dramatic music here).

Upon entering the store with some friends, the woman working accosted us immediately. "Are you looking for yourself or doing some Christmas shopping?" We assured her that we were just browsing - which, for most of us, means looking around and then buying more than we meant to - but apparently that answer wasn't satisfactory. She continued to lurk creepily as we perused, each of us in our own sections. But then, I made an egregious error. I OPENED A BOOK. After looking on the back cover for a description of an environmental book, I wanted to see what the writing quality was like... so I flipped open to a random page. The woman working was immediately in my face, closing the book while it was still in my hands. "Oh no honey, you don't want to do that. You see how that bends the pages back? Then it's not like new anymore and I can't sell it. Were you planning on buying this book?" I was stunned, as were my friends, and managed to stammer that I wasn't sure. "Well, if you look on the back cover, it usually has a pretty good description of what's inside." REALLY? Well, thank you Captain Obvious. I didn't even know what to say to that. It was like I never picked up a book before in my life. I just beelined back to the environmental shelf and put the book away, and began heading for the door, hoping my friends would follow suit. Gwen was flipping through an herb cookbook, and the woman went immediately over to her and did the exact same thing: "Did you hear what I just told that other girl? You don't need to open the book." Please make note, this cookbook was hardcover. And then: "Is this in your price range?" Gwen didn't know how to respond. It's not like she went into the store thinking "hey, I need an herb cookbook for under $15." Gwen just put the book on the shelf and we walked out. It wasn't until I was leaving that I noticed how most of the shelves were practically empty - the books were all turned to face cover-out, instead of spine-out, so they wouldn't look so barren. I really wanted to go back into the store and tell the woman what I thought about the whole ordeal, but didn't know how to do so in a way that wouldn't be blatantly rude.

Later, when relating this to another college friend, Anna, who lives in Roanoke, she shared the exact same experience! Only, to make matters worse, not only did Anna open a book, she also had the audacity to sit down in one of the chairs to look through it in further detail. The woman told her not to do that - that if she wanted to just sit and read, she should go to Barnes & Noble. (It might be helpful to note here that Anna was 8 months pregnant at the time, so sitting in one of the provided chairs seemed like a very good idea).

Anyway, I was just really disappointed in the downfall of my favorite bookstore. I'm still toying with the idea of writing a letter, but I'm not sure. If letters follow the same rules as books, it might never be opened. After all, all you need to know can be found on the outside, right?

Goodbye, Cantos.

What I Do

I know it's been forever since I've written. But hopefully this will help explain what I've been up to besides blogging. Last week, I was asked to give a talk at the annual fundraising banquet for Black Rock. I was asked to talk a little bit about Outdoor Education at Black Rock so the donors who attend the banquet could better understand what types of program they'd be supporting. As I was preparing to speak in front of a couple hundred stoic wealthy elderly Mennonites, it occurred to me that whenever I mentioned Outdoor Ed, a lot of people still have no idea what exactly that means. So I wanted to share my talk here, so better explain why I've been under a rock these last three months running this program:-) So, here it is!

Good evening. I am one of the new faces around Black Rock, as I started working here this past June as the Outdoor Education Director. With a background in camp ministry, I basically “fell into” Outdoor Education without having a very clear idea of what to expect – I was just looking for a way to work summer camp all year long. Once I started teaching, I quickly realized that the field of outdoor education was where I was going to spend the rest of my career. However, over the last few years, I’ve discovered that very few people actually know what “Outdoor Education” is. When I try to explain to other people what it is – exactly - that we in outdoor education do, it ends up being translated along the lines of “Oh, so you get to play with kids in the woods all day.” This is partially true, but it’s a little more in-depth than that.

Broken down, most outdoor education programs are designed to be field trip experiences for schools, varying in length from one to three days, and include classes and activities that promote hands-on learning. Classes cover the spectrum of environmental science, as well as outdoor living skills such as canoeing, fire building, and so on. Most outdoor education programs incorporate a ropes course experience for the students as well. All of these activities are designed to supplement what the students are learning in their classrooms by providing hands-on, experiential opportunities for them to be able to get out and really explore the outdoors.

But outdoor education is so much more than this. In a video game controlled world, outdoor education provides an opportunity for children to not only explore their natural surroundings, but also to discover more about themselves. Instead of staring at a television screen, children are exposed to a world without walls and without limitations to their curiosity. I’ve seen students come to outdoor education programs who are diagnosed with severe ADHD – to the extent that they have to wear patches to control their hyperactivity, and their teachers send warnings about how hard these students are to manage – and the moment these students get outside and participate in hands-on classes, they are able to focus on what is being taught and excel in the outdoor classroom. For these students, who struggle with self-esteem, whose grades are suffering, outdoor education provides an opportunity to surpass expectations. Even students that already excel in the classroom develop a greater sense of self during their outdoor education experience. Whether they are being challenged on the ropes course, or studying critters in the creek, these students are given an opportunity to get out of virtual reality and get into God’s reality.

After a few years of teaching Outdoor Ed through other programs, I knew, for me, something was missing. I loved teaching hands-on science classes, but most outdoor education programs do not allow discussion of God as the Creator of the science we are teaching about. That’s when I found Black Rock, a program truly unique in both its exceptional educational value but also in its strong spiritual emphasis; whose motto is to teach about the Creator through His creation. Children that come to any program at Black Rock – whether it’s summer camp, a day on the ropes course, or outdoor education – are exposed to God’s love through the actions of our staff as well as the components of the activities. In outdoor education, we utilize our 100 wooded acres as our classroom, teaching students about the plants and animals that live there, as well as studying weather patterns, rock formations, creek life, and the nighttime sky. With over 30 different classes for the schools to choose from, we provide a diverse educational experience rooted in Biblical truths. Every component of nature is tied back into the Creator, and what He does for us. For example, when students are learning about how God provides diverse habitats for animals, they are also learning about God’s promise to always provide for us, and exploring the different ways in which He does so. While learning about orienteering and how to use a compass, the students are also exploring the direction God provides for us through His word. In addition, we hold devotions times each day, where we worship God openly and freely, and study the nature of God. From devotions to meals to classes to games, the children that come to our OE program are exposed to God in a new and exciting way.

Many of the students that come to our program already have a relationship with our Creator. Devotions, followed by cabin discussion times each evening allow for them to delve further into their relationships. For many, this is the first time they realize that their commitment to Christ isn’t something they inherit from their parents, but a decision they must make for themselves. At the end of every week, when students are asked about how their relationship with God has changed during their time at Black Rock, an overwhelming majority indicate that they have grown closer to God in the three short days on our property. Some students make the commitment to rededicate their lives to Christ.

Not every child who comes to our Outdoor Education program is a Christian. We view this as a golden opportunity to share God’s love with children who might not otherwise hear the good news. One student in particular stands out. She was a fifth grade student named Sabrina who attended outdoor education in September of this year. She, like all too many children nowadays, came from a rough home life. She had never been in any type of school before this year. Her cousin took her in as a foster child and enrolled her at the local Christian school. Sabrina struggled with the transition; while she made friends easily, she had never heard of God before, except as a curse word. Her teachers were confident that her time at Black Rock would be a great time of growth and learning. During the first night’s devotions, Sabrina was withdrawn and quiet. She contributed little to the discussion, and cried herself to sleep. She didn’t understand the joy and love that her classmates kept talking about. But over the next three days, God began to work in her heart. Sabrina began to listen intently during devotion times, and she started asking questions of her teachers and friends. She began to understand that she was created by God, that this same God loves her, and has a purpose for her. God used her time at Black Rock – away from her past, away from the life she used to know – to plant the seeds that will hopefully continue to grow into a meaningful relationship with our Lord and Creator.

Outdoor Education at Black Rock Retreat is more than just an educational experience or fun field trip for the students who attend. Our program is designed for stories like these – and all of the untold stories -so we can make room for God to work in the lives of these children. Through our programs, activities, devotions, and personal interactions with the students, we truly seek opportunities to challenge and encourage the students in their relationship with our Creator. This is what Black Rock Outdoor Education is – while it’s much shorter to simply say “I get to play with kids in the woods all day,” the truth is that Outdoor Education opens the door so we can know Christ and make Him known.

Our staff works hard to provide these opportunities to the students, but we can always use extra assistance. We would appreciate your prayers for our ministry. We have two weeks left of our fall season, and 135 students who will be attending in that time. Prayer is always our biggest support; please partner with us in prayer as we minister to these students this fall and as we prepare for a busy spring season! And, on behalf of the Outdoor Education staff, I want to thank you in advance for your prayers and encouragement. I hope you enjoy the rest of the evening.

Sea Glass

I've always loved finding sea glass. As a child, my mother used to keep a jar of it on the windowsill, and I would take them out and sort them by colors, admiring their frosty appearance and smooth edges. The whole idea of sea glass always fascinated me - broken pieces of bottles tossed and smoothed by the water, creating small fragments of art.

A few weeks ago, I went up to Ithaca, NY to visit D. The camp where he has spent the last few summers working is located right on the Finger Lakes - a perfect place to find sea glass. It's literally all over the place - as long as you're willing to look amongst all of the smooth rocks and fairy stones. It's become a bit of an addiction for me, whenever I visit. I like to walk along the rocky shore, hearing the crunch of the tiny stones and shells beneath my footsteps, and scour the coastline for tiny bits of colored glass. Sometimes D joins me in this endeavor, and we now have quite the collection of white, blue, purple, and green pieces.

It was on my most recent visit that I found myself spending quite a bit of solitary time walking along the edge of the lake. D was sick, resting in his cabin, and I was wandering to clear my head. Loving a man who is so frequently sick has definitely changed my perspective on life and love. I've been learning more about servant love through this whole experience (something that does not come naturally for me), and have been surprised by the peace that God brings to me through this experience. Not to imply in any way that I am joyful because D is sick, but having the opportunity to help him and serve him while he is in need has pushed me into a role I never thought I would be able to play well. I've always been rather self-serving, both in my relationship with others and my relationship with God. But trying to support D during his sickness has shown me what it really means to love - not the butterflies and giddiness that I still feel whenever he looks at me - but the solid, servant love that God requires of us. And it has shown me how God could take someone like me, with my horrible bed-side manor, and put me into a situation that, while difficult, has forced me to change some of that selfishness. I am still not sure why D has to suffer the way he has - I know I'll never fully understand God's plan - but what God has done in my life (and in D's) because of this has proven to me his faithfulness. Good things can come out of bad things. God has forced me to be more loving and more giving than I have ever been before, and from that both D and myself have grown closer to knowing the nature of God. What a blessing! While I am still unsteady at times, especially as the possibility of surgery for D looms closer, I know that I just have to put my fears and worries into His hands, because He can make anything good and it will all work for His glory!

So these are the things that were going through my head while searching for sea glass along the lake. To be completely honest, there was some anger, as well - the selfish part of me re-emerging, upset about the interruption of "our" plans, both for the weekend and for our lives, because of this sickness. But I sat in the warm afternoon sun holding a large piece of blue sea glass - my favorite -and started thinking about the nature of God. Who is God, and what can He do?

I think we can learn a lot about God's works from examining sea glass. In its original form, it is really just a broken piece of glass - probably clear or brown to begin with, but trash nonetheless. Sharp, pointed edges that easily cut, essentially useless to anyone and quite possibly dangerous of not handled properly. But overtime, in the currents of the water, the edges of the glass are smoothed out. The colors transform - clear into a frosty white, brown softens into a chocolate shade. The longer the glass is in the water, the smoother the edges become. The longer it sits on the shore, the color changes. Clear turns to white, which eventually turns to a delicate light blue. Brown eventually softens into a hazy sunset purple. From ugly pieces of trash come beautiful fragments that are collected and cherished - no longer hazzardous or useless, but now admired.

The thing that struck me most when thinking about the journey of sea glass is that no matter how beautiful it becomes, it will never become "complete" again. An entire bottle thrown into the sea shows no such weathering or changes. The glass must first be broken to become beautiful. Psalm 51:17 tells us that "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise." Directly above that is one of my favorite verses - 51:10: "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." This is exactly what God does with us when we are broken. When we are used up, useless, troubled, scared, and uncertain - God can use that if we let Him. Just like the sea glass tossed among the waves, the more we allow God to use our brokenness, the more beautiful He can make us. We are His works of art, used to glorify Him, as long as we allow Him the control to do this. Even when everything in our lives starts to feel "complete" again - we must remember to approach God from this spirit of brokenness to allow for His glory and grace. So while I'm struggling with the "why's" and "what for's" of D's sickness, and questioning how God can be glorified through such pain, I am trying to remember that we must first be broken to be blessed and transformed. And, just like the sea glass, the longer we trust in God, the more beautiful He will make us.

Wedding Insanity?

Recently, I got to witness the lead-up weeks to my roommate's much-awaited wedding. It made me want to elope.

No, seriously. At first it was fun stuff - finding the right hair accessory, or selecting ceremony music. But towards the end it just became pure stress. She didn't get a chance to enjoy her rehearsal dinner because she was so stressed with honeymoon packing and vow-writing that still had to be done. Thankfully, once the ceremony started she was able to relax and enjoy it. And she said she didn't regret any of the stress because the day went wonderfully.

I realize I'm a bit of a wedding novice, and I'm not trying to say there's anything wrong with the route my roommate took for her wedding, but I think there HAS to be a way to do this without all the stress. In just the few months of planning we've done, I've definitely had stressful moments - mostly relating to guest list and catering options. And it's been tough negotiating between what I want, want my fiance wants, and want both sets of parents want (which, honestly, drastically differs!) But when I look at the last-minute stress that my roommate went through, I think - there has to be a way to avoid it! Maybe not all of it, as staying within a budget alone can be stressful, let alone trying to figure out how to tell that girl you met at a party for a friend last year that is randomly your facebook friend because you like to read the same kind of books that she's not invited. But all the little things - decorations and favors and all that stuff. Obviously it's probably a good idea to have all these things, but how can it be done in a way that's not stressful? (If anyone knows the answer to this, I'm taking notes!) For me, the strategy has come by reminding myself constantly that I am preparing - not for a big party where I get to wear a white dress - but for a marriage, a lifetime commitment to the man I love. When I start to fret about wedding details, I tend to pull out "A Wife After God's Own Heart" - a book my sister got me for an engagement present. It's reading this (and any other Christian wife "manual" of sorts) that put me back into focus. Yes, the wedding day is special, and it's a big day. And I'm incredibly excited about it! But what I'm excited for most is after the party, when D and I get to live under the same roof. When I get to actually call him my husband, and when I get to be his wife! So with all the stress out there associated with weddings, I'm trying to stay focused on being a good wife, not just a well-organized bride. Because in the long run, it doesn't matter how the wedding turns out - as long as we're married in the eyes of God, it matters what the rest of our lives are like!

Alas, (I love using that word) - it's still hard to avoid wedding stress. I wonder when they become such extravagent affairs! Where food has to be laid out so it's eye-catching and beautiful (not just tasty), flowers have to adorn every surface of the ceremony site, cakes cost hundreds of dollars - seriously, how is going into massive debt for one day a good example of how to spend the rest of our lives together? And okay, I'm mostly just writing this as a reminder for myself - because it's true, we won't be able to pay for all of the wedding upfront. But we're not spending thousands of dollars over our income (or, really, thousands of dollars at all) to do this! And I refuse to be stressed about silly little details up until the last moment! I want to enjoy this process, to learn to work together effectively with my fiance and my future in-laws. I want to be able to look back at my engagement time and think "yes, I am glad I took advantage of that time to learn about being a wife" instead of looking back and thinking "man, we sure threw a great party there..." I think the most stressful thing at this moment is that not everyone agrees on our laid-back approach to wedding planning - where friends & family are doing most of the work (food, music, photography, etc.) Trying to convince others that it's okay if not everything is perfect is stressful - and odd, since I thought it would be me that needs to reassuring (and sometimes it is...) But I'm trying to work through it as best as I can, and take this time just to enjoy being engaged and planning a life together with D. I realize this post has absolutely no cohesion, but these are things I've been thinking about for a while and can't quite organize my thoughts yet... The point is, weddings themselves have become idols - the insanity that surrounds them overwhelming! I had to stop reading wedding magazines or books because what's "expected" is so over-the-top! To me, it's not worth it... even if I do have my moments of stress and slight insanity, I'm just praying that I can focus on the goal (beginning a life with the man I love) rather than the party. I don't want to be like my roommate, so I'm making a commitment now to avoid all of that craziness and just deal with things as they come... Hopefully that will work! We'll see.... ;-)

Joel's Bike Ride Adventure

Memorial Day weekend in Atlanta, all of "the boys" - my dad, D, Michael, and my four oldest nephews - went to ride bikes in the park. Isaac & Ezra are old enough to ride alone, and D pushed Nathan in a stroller, while Michael taught Joel how to ride a "big boy" bike. D ran along behind and recorded the event, and then put together this little video clip to share. (Sorry for the shakiness, apparently running, pushing a jogging stroller, and videotaping all at the same time can be a little difficult!) Enjoy!